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Submissive commands

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ASMR Rules and Tasks Dominant Submissive Roleplay Gender Neutral

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We met up a couple more times for similar sessions, but then I pulled away. I was freaked out. Not by the pain, but by how intense my feelings were for him.

Nearly two years passed before I saw him again. We had both gotten married, gotten on with our lives.

My husband and I renovated our house. I traveled to India and Australia with friends. And my business boomed. Meanwhile, I tried to suppress this thing between Doug and me.

When Doug texted that he was moving to Boston for a big promotion, I agreed to meet him for a drink. I told my husband, with whom I share a very honest relationship, that I was going to see an ex for closure.

But as soon as Doug and I laid eyes on each other, that dark connection was still there. He walked me to my car, and we kissed.

Then he told me to take off my pants. I obeyed. We were right back in it. He left for Boston with his wife the next morning.

A sub is willing to go to a place many people do not, or cannot, go. With miles between us, we're in contact over e-mail, text, and Skype.

Because BDSM is about so much more than just sex, Doug can still be my Dom from afar, focusing more on psychological control.

I'll text that I'm going for a run, and he'll tell me I can't. Over Skype, he'll watch me get close to orgasm and make me stop.

Or he won't speak to me because, with the distance, it's one of the only ways I can feel the sting of his decision.

We know what we're doing isn't fair to our spouses, but fortunately for me, I'm able to be honest with my husband about Doug.

We went through counseling a few years ago and agreed to have an open marriage. I love my husband—and I love having sex with him, but in an entirely different way.

Doug is my dark and my husband is my light. For Doug, it's not that easy. His wife has no idea about this side of him.

Recently, I flew to Boston for a long weekend when Doug's wife was out of town. He arrived at my hotel and made me sit on my knees while he spanked me with his belt.

Even though we have a safe word, I've never used it. A Dom is intoxicated by someone who is willing to trust him or her that much.

A sub is intoxicated by the surrender—and not because he or she is weak. The physical pain is just a small part of it. And surviving it, enduring it, is a feat.

I know it's weird, but I feel like if I can do that, I can do anything. I didn't tell any of my friends about Doug for nearly four years.

I just didn't want to be judged. Eventually, I started revealing details when we'd talk about our sex lives. They couldn't believe that I liked being bossed around, that I allowed a man to hit me.

I explained that in his normal life, Doug would never hurt a woman. He even donates to a battered-women's shelter! One day at lunch I showed my best friend some texts from Doug.

She got really upset by the controlling things he wrote, like telling me what to wear to work.

And when I revealed that he had a wife, she was totally disgusted. We'd been friends for 18 years and she had been my maid of honor, but we haven't talked in nearly a year.

Sometimes I feel like I'm someone's dirty little secret. Doug is now a full-on conservative businessman. He lives in a huge house in a fancy Boston suburb; he plays golf, flies planes, runs marathons.

As embarrassing as it is to admit, he's a lot like Christian Grey. And he has the perfect Stepford-looking wife. But the truth is, I feel bad for him.

I couldn't imagine leading a double life like he does. And I do feel guilty about his wife. Yet selfishly, my main concern is protecting him and our relationship.

I love that Fifty Shades of Grey has gotten women talking more honestly about their fantasies, but I hate that the book perpetuates the notion that a Dom must be messed up to be into this kind of sex.

Subs supposedly have no backbone, have daddy issues. I am completely alpha at home and work. I have two full-time employees and am a bossy boss.

Subs are not doormats. We are just expressing darker sides of ourselves the way everyone else probably has some fetish they're afraid to share.

Incorporating safe signals during this type of play or any other time when verbal communication is impaired is important. The following explains each Dominant hand signal and what it means.

Most commands correspond to a number and letter of the alphabet that relates to the action commanded. I prefer my submissive sitting on the ground, hands behind their back, with their eyes looking down.

Make sure if sexual attention is requested it has been negotiated and consented to ahead of time. The Top sees this and wants their bottom to assist.

So they hold one finger up and point at the person in need of assistance. They are to raise their ass in the air presenting it for your pleasure or punishment.

Example: The submissive goofs up and needs to be spanked in punishment. Consent can be revoked at any time by the sub raising their fist or giving whatever somatic safeword you established together.

They both pre-negotiated and consented to oral sex. The Dominant holds up three fingers to the sub and points at their girlfriend, who the sub must now serve orally.

The submissive is to go to them, find out what beverage they want, how they take it, and then go get it for them.

The submissive immediately asks what kind of beverage they would like and how they would like it prepared. In my fucking hand, black, and strong.

Once in the position, they are to start to masturbating. The goal here is for the sub to get themselves off and let their exhibitionist skills shine.

They are to masturbate until orgasm. This easy-to-learn system has a number of mnemonics to help with memorization.

This is an important cheat for the Dominant partner to remember. You both may enjoy the punishments and "funishments" that follow their mistakes.

Just the power that your Dominant holds over you are strong enough to let it happen anywhere, at any time. My Dominant has another submissive that is also interested in orgasm on command training.

He would like to train us both to have the same cue and have our own personal signals. This way if we are all together, he can make us both orgasm at the same time, or individually.

Talk about a fun time! Not all relationships are meant to last. So what happens if the relationship ends after you are trained to orgasm to his voice?

Well, since the relationship ends, likely, you won't feel his dominance or power over you anymore, and it will break the magic. It might not be immediate, but without the reinforcement of the training, it will fade, and you will go back to orgasming as usual i.

This form of training is based on trust, so if you no longer trust them, that breaks the spell. Really the sky is the limit with orgasm training and as long as you are patient and consistent with your efforts you can be rewarded!

Every month I'll update you on the latest from Submissive Guide and you'll get first access to new resources, offers and events.

Verbal Cues The most common goal is to orgasm by verbal command. Visual Cues A less common way to cue is by a visual cue.

Touch I love the idea of a specific touch or tap on my arm that would get me to orgasm. Countdowns I have to admit this seems like the most cliche, but probably the most well-used form of orgasm on command training because it uses a similar principle to hypnosis.

Sounds Imagine orgasming when you hear a person snap three times, or a dog training clicker or a whistle. Different Orgasms for Different Strokes Women will often tell you that we have more than one type of orgasm.

Multiple submissives My Dominant has another submissive that is also interested in orgasm on command training. Concerns of De-programming Not all relationships are meant to last.

Keep us running with your support. Join SubguidePlus for our latest tips, tutorials and submissive tools! In a given scene, there is no requirement that the dominant also be the top, or that the submissive be the bottom, although this is often the case.

The term vanilla refers to normative "non- kinky " sex and relationships, the vanilla world being mainstream society outside of the BDSM subculture.

The term comes from vanilla ice cream being considered the "default" flavor. Power exchange is consensual and in reality, it is the submissive that has the underlying control during the relationship exchange.

The terms top and bottom are used as verbs or nouns to describe the physical play of SM but with less of a focus of the "sadist" and "masochist" part of the activity.

They can be used as synonyms for dominant and submissive. It can also be used to describe a club where these activities take place. It can also be a place to practice kinks safely and learn how to carry out activities and play.

The term dungeon monitors is used as a description of well-trusted BDSM members that volunteer to monitor dungeons and look out for infractions, distress, or any other form of misconduct or non-consent.

The term flogger is used to describe a tool or whip used in sexual scenes. The action of flogging refers to impact play.

Usually made of leather with a hard handle and multiple long flat strands attached. The term can also be used to describe the person holding the specialized whip.

It was popularized in internet chatrooms, to make it easier to identify the orientation of the writer or the person being written about.

Also, some submissives eschew personal pronouns, instead referring to themselves as "this slave" or "Master Bob's girl". This is sometimes considered an expression of modesty, but it is an entirely optional method of depersonalizing a submissive during "play".

It may have roots in the military , where new recruits are required to refer to themselves as "this recruit", rather than "I" or "me".

Relationships may be monogamous or polyamorous. Fantasy role play can be an element, with partners taking classic dominant or submissive roles, or classic authority-figure roles such as teacher and student, police officer and suspect, or parent and child.

These variations may include:. Some examples are:. Consent is a vital element in all psychological play, and consent can be granted in many ways. Some employ a written form known as a "Dungeon negotiation form", for others a simple verbal commitment is sufficient.

There are many versions of consent but mainly it is the knowledge between the partnership of who plays the dominant role and who plays the submissive.

As well as the fact that all erotic experiences are performed in a safe, legal, and consensual practice as well as benefiting both parties.

Surface consent has been defined as a simple yes or no. Negotiation in terms of the sexual scenes is required to ensure that the BDSM play is enjoyable and safe for both parties involved.

The discussion of what activities are available and the mutual definition of the play is the only way both the dominant and submissive will be able to comfortably perform.

Safewords are verbal codes both partners can recognize as the end or altering of activities done in a BDSM scene.

It is an important asset to continue the consent through the relationship and scene itself. All of it ensures a safe space where both participants are able to enjoy the sexual play.

The BDSM community takes consent very seriously and promotes safe play. They also provide public playrooms with dungeon monitors to make sure the rules are kept and followed.

Although they take all the precautions to the events, coercion and sexual assault still occur inside and outside the community.

The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom NCSF is an educational organization that is driven to propose positive and safe sex that was founded in That being said just because someone participates in a dominant and submissive relationship does not mean they will eventually be sexually assaulted or coerced.

Consensual non-consensuality is a mutual agreement to act as if consent has been waived within safe, sane limits. It is an agreement that consent is given in advance, sometimes without foreknowledge of the exact actions planned, though within defined limits subject to a safeword, reasonable care, common sense, or other restrictions.

The consent is given with the intent of its being irrevocable under normal circumstances. As such, it is a show of extreme trust and understanding and is usually undertaken only by partners who know each other well, or otherwise agree to set clear, safe limits on their activities.

It is not unusual to grant consent only for an hour or for an evening. When a scene lasts for more than a few hours, it is common to draft a "scene contract" that defines what will happen and who is responsible for what.

It is a good way to work out what all the parties want and usually improves the experience. Some contracts can become quite detailed and run for many pages, especially if a scene is to last a weekend or more.

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1 Comments

  • JoJozuru says:

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